One of the most rewarding and loving relationships one can have is the mother and child relationship. But what happens when this bond goes awry?  What can happen when a mother tries to parent her child while under the stress of depression, domestic abuse, marital problems, little or no support networks, or substance abuse? What if the mother has a child that is difficult to manage, or one that has a mental, physical or behavioral handicap?  What about the mother who was brought up learning that the only and best way to train her child is to use beatings that leave welts and bruises? The awful outcome can be child physical abuse.

According to the American Humane Association, child physical abuse is the “non-accidental trauma or physical injury caused by punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning or otherwise harming a child.” The association adds that child physical abuse is often caused by parents using “inappropriate or excessive physical discipline” when angry. An incensed parent is less likely to be aware of the magnitude of her hitting, explains the American Humane Association.

Knowing what child physical abuse is can be the first step in identifying whether this affliction has become a part of your family. But knowing what it is and avoiding it do not always go hand in hand.  Often, mothers need to be taught that there are alternative ways of disciplining their children that avoid hitting completely. They also need to know what they can do to help stay in control of themselves during discipline episodes.

Here are 5 ways to discipline your child without hitting or shouting:

  1. Complement or praise your child when you see her cooperating or obeying. This is one of the best ways to get your child to repeat proper behavior.
  2. Spend quality and quantity time with your child to develop a loving relationship. When your child enjoys your company and cares about how you feel about him/her, she will be more inclined to follow your instructions.
  3. When your child is upset, let her know you understand how she feels. Once you acknowledge her feelings, she will be more willing to comply with your demands.
  4. Learn the stages of development for your child. You might find that what you consider misbehavior may simply be normal childhood behavior.
  5. Remember to teach by example. If you want your children to talk out their problems with their siblings rather than fight them out, do the same with your spouse and children. (18-March)Blog Post-Inside poster - What is child physical abuse

Here are 5 ways to discipline yourself when you feel you are losing control:

  1. Phone a friend or family member for comfort, advice or merely to blow off steam.
  2. If your children are already supervised, take a walk.
  3. Browse through a magazine or newspaper; surf the internet.
  4. Put yourself into your child’s position and think about how you would feel if someone responded to you in a violent and hostile manner.
  5. Retreat to your room to read or listen to Quran.
  6. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan.

No household is immune from experiencing child physical abuse.  It occurs in Muslim homes as well as  non-Muslim families.  Knowing how to minimize the risk factors and enacting preventive behaviors can be a successful approach to preventing child physical abuse in your family.

For more information on preventing child physical abuse, visit the following website:



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8 replies on “What is Child Physical Abuse”

    June 29, 2015 at 8:45 am

    SubhanAllah great article, i am a father of 2 very naughty girls i find it really hard controlling my temper and basically the elder one totally out of my control and never listens to my words OR messes up the house all the time, kicks me, hits her mother, hits her little sister, scratches everyone, and sometime i totally lose my temper and go on hit her in the face so that she can calm herself down. i dont know how to deal with these and dont understand that if her situation will change with age. She is almost 3 years old now. i dont know i am helpless and feel ashamed of myself for hitting a toddler once in a blue, please help me. the kid is totally out of control 🙁

      September 21, 2016 at 10:14 am

      Salaam Brother

      You need to take your daughter to the doctors she maybe autistic or have learning difficulties? Or it may be she is used to having her own way or is she seeing arguing I the house everyday?

      Please read the morning and evening duas and also read surah al baqarah everyday. Read the ayatul kursi and 4 kuls over your while family. I shall ah Allah willing it will be all ok. Also try to leave her alone when she’s screaming when she sees your not reacting she might give up .

    • September 22, 2016 at 5:23 am

      Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu My Dear Sister. First, begin making dua asking Allah (Glory be to Him the Most High) for help. Ask Him to give you patience and to help you to change. After that, begin reading books or looking at You Tube videos on disciplining children without hitting, disciplining hard to manage children, and other topics such as this. My e-book “Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Discipline Your Muslim Child –And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at it”. This book is a good start. You can order it at It has over a dozen ways to manage a child’s behavior without hitting. the back of the book has references to other helpful books and resources. You might also want to read my e-book. “Reaching Patience: A Muslim Mother’s Guide to Self-Control When Disciplining”. This book can be a good help because it mentions references from Quran and hadith on the benefits and importance of being patient with our children. For instance, it reminds us that just as we want Allah The Most High to be kind and forgiving to us, we should likewise be kind and forgiving to others. My Sister I must mention, also, that there is a hadith in which our beloved Prophet (saw) forbade us from hitting others in the face–even animals. Please visit my blog for loads of helpful tips on managing your girls’ behavior with less stress. Also, remember that certain behaviors are normal for certain age groups . Sometimes when you know what to expect from a particular age group, you are not as upset when you see that behavior. Please excuse me. I realize you said you were a father and not mother. The information is still applicable, nevertheless.

    mushtaq sheikh
    July 13, 2015 at 9:53 am

    nice. may Allah bless you and your family

    • September 22, 2016 at 5:49 am

      Assalamu Alaikum,
      Jazakalakhair for your kind words and dua. Ameen and may Allah bless you and your family with the good of this world and the hereafter and protect you from the hellfire.

      Grandma Jeddah

    August 3, 2015 at 1:58 pm

    Ma Shaa Allah, very helpful article about Parents.. Allah blessed me a cute baby girl…Please pray for every one to take care their children in good manners, Jazak Allah

    December 30, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    Noww I’am in 11th grade and cant take school, I Have considered walking out or attempting to just get
    expelled and end it already (school, not life
    Razz ) but I dont understand what the hell I should do.
    Beesides that, I despise school, although I’m a cashier att my school shop during certain lunch periods andd I TRULY like that.
    Pals piss me of, none of thyem share my intrests, Icant sand the “fake” personalities oof everyone and
    teachers annoy me. I cant write much more right now, and you
    also almost certainly cant read more, so I’ll liist dislikes afterwards.
    Now for two much shorter sections.

    • September 22, 2016 at 5:47 am

      Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu My Dear Brother or Sister in Islam. May Allah reward you for seeking out ways of trying to solve the problems you are having at school. May He make things easy on you and guide you to solutions that will make life easier for you. I am really sorry to hear about the disappointments you are having in school. Standard schools are certainly not for everyone. Do you live in a Muslim country or do you attend school in a non-Muslim country? You might wish to ask your parents to enroll you in a private smaller school that is more personal. Another option is to see if your parents can arrange for you to be homeschooled. I am not certain as to where you live, but in America there are many homeschool programs that are accredited. some provide the books for free and the classes are free as well. If one of your parents is home during the day, perhaps they can homeschool you. If you are finding that your school work is to challenging, ask your parents or school counselor if you can get tutoring in some of your subjects. I would certainly also mention your concerns to you parents and a school counselor. If they don’t respond in a helpful way, try talking to another older relative and mention some of the other options that I have mentioned. A caring adult in your family or at school might have other helpful options for you. I found it interesting that you said you TRULY like being a cashier. Being a cashier at a store is actually a career option you could pursue. Eventually you could also look into starting your own business and being a cashier at your own store. May Allah The Most High guide you toward the best in this world and the hereafter and protect you from the hellfire. Please feel free contacting me again if you have any questions, My Dear. My email is I have a great e-book you might be interested in reading. If you think you’d like to read it, I’ll send you a free courtesy copy, insha’Allah. It’s called, “Mom, I’m Stressed: STress Help for Muslim Teens and Youth”. You can read more about it at this link,
      Your Sister in Islam,
      Grandma Jeddah