What are some of the main obligations of parents to their children?

The family life in Islam is about obligation of parents to their children. I have put this obligation in seven main groupings. So, we will look in to these obligations of parents to their children, something which is very important for us. A woman once came to my class and told me that both of her sons, who have attended high school in Toronto, have become disbelievers. You should know that she is not the first and she won’t be the last. This issue is a critical issue for us as parents here because we have an obligation to raise our children as believing Muslims so that they would be among those who Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) had spoken about:

سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمْ اللَّهُ فِي ظِلِّهِ يَوْمَ لَا ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلُّهُ

“There are seven groups of people who will be under the shade of Allah’s throne on the day of the resurrection where there will be no shade except the shade of the throne”

These groups are:

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Seven people will be shaded by Allah under His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His. They are:

(1) A just ruler;

(2) A young man who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, (i.e. worship Allah (Alone) sincerely from his childhood),

(3) A man whose heart is attached to the mosque (who offers the five compulsory congregational prayers in the mosque);

(4) Two persons who love each other only for Allah's sake and they meet and part in Allah's cause only;

(5) A man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for an illegal sexual intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah;

(6) A person who practices charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity).

(7) A person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes get flooded with tears." [1]

We owe this to our children. We should raise them worshiping Allah so that they will be under the shade of Allah’s throne. It is our duty to raise them in this fashion. The responsibility to raise them in this way can only be fulfilled if we are conscious of our duty to them and our duty to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’alah. We will be asked on the Day of Judgment about our children; we will be accountable if our children go astray because we brought them here and we kept them where we are living.

We live in the environment where disbelievers live. We cannot obviously lock our children up in the homes and hence, they will be exposed to the ideas of the atheists. In our environment, there are very few among young people who go to masjid. How about the others? They are confused, they don’t really know about Islam, and have big doubt because of the environment, and we chose to bring them here.

In last twenty years, I lived in U.A.E and Qatar, people always ask me advice whether they should migrate to the US or Candad? I keep telling them not to do it. It is a spiritual suicide for your children. Those who are conscious will see what is happening when their children grow up in U.S. and Canada, what their belief will be. It is better for those families to pack up and leave. I am not saying that everyone should do that. For those who are involved in Islamic activities and their children go to the Islamic schools and you have a good environment around you, then you are in a different situation.

If you are concerned about your children’s future, we should give them the best education. This is not about the engineering and medical education. When Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) told us about,

طَلَبُ الْعِلْمِ فَرِيْضَةٌ عَلَى كُلِّ مُسْلِمٍ

“Seeking knowledge is compulsory for every Muslim”

What is he talking about in this passage, PhD. in Physics? It is talking about deen. That is the best education for our children that their deen, knowledge of the deen is proper. Knowledge that will be sufficient to protect them in whatever environment they will be in. So, we set our goal in raising children, first and foremost, is to raise righteous Muslim children. Raising children is not an easy task. This is not like animal couples raising their children. When Allah describes disbelievers,

“They are like cattle, in fact they even more ashtray”[2]

So, our responsibility is far greater then merely overseeing our children as they mature like the rest of animals do. We have a duty to raise them righteous. Muslim means that they have to be raised in consciousness of Islam and that they have understood Islam. These are our responsibilities. We have to take this seriously. Following are some points of the obligation parents have to their children:

1. Establish a righteous marriage.
2. Make dua for them.
3. We have to be the best example for them.
4. The children be loved and treated in a most merciful way that is possible.
5. Islamic education.
6. To create a positive environment in the home where children are raised. We raise them properly disciplined.

We can say that the obligations of parent to their children could all be summed up in the right to be raised as righteous children. This is our primary duty to our children that we raise them righteously. That involves the things we should do even before we have our children (choosing good wife/husband, make supplication). And we have also things to do after we have them (give them good example, educate them, give them good environment).

The main goal is to raise them conscious of Allah, those who will be among the seven who will be shaded by throne of Allah on the day that there will be no shade. Most of us didn’t grow up by worshiping Allah. When we look back to our past, we have those years when we played and did everything but worshiping Allah. We will hope that our children will grow up worshiping Allah.

I mentioned in the beginning about a woman. She is a righteous person but her sons became disbelievers. It means that the environment can make our children to be confused about Allah. Our children are the trust given from Allah to us.

I ask Allah to put a sense of urgency and seriousness to our responsibility to our children in our heart. We will be asked about this on the Day of Judgment.

References:

[1] Saheeh al-Bukhari 1423, Book 24, Hadith 504

[2] Al-Araaf :179