My parents want me to marry only someone from our race and country. What is Islam’s view on this?

The issue again is about the ‘ideals’. What is the Islamic ideal? The Islamic ideal is that the culture of Muslims, for example, here in Canada should be a mixed culture. It is the circumstances which produces culture.

If you are born and raised in Egypt and everybody around you has a common set of values and practices, it’s natural for you to share those and its nothing wrong with having them, as long as they do not go against Islamic teachings. This is fine, because that is what is called ‘urf, which is even enshrined in Islamic law and Shari’ah.

However, when you come out of these circumstances, think about the early generation that left Yemen, Hadramawt and went to India, Indonesia, Philippines and Malaysia - these were Arabs, with Arab culture. Nevertheless, if you go there now, you cannot see the Arab culture anymore. You might see some features and they may have the Arabic names, but they have blended right with the people. They did not try to seek to maintain that culture that, “We are Arabs.” Whatever they learned of Arabic was passed on. Therefore, this is the natural way.

It is unnatural to come to a different place and say that, “We are in Toronto but we are Bengalis.” No, we are Muslims! That is all we are. We are Muslims first, and then Bengalis, Indians, Pakistanis, Americans and such.

Therefore, it means that when the issues of marriage come, the issue in marriage should be according to Islam, not according to culture.

Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) has already set guidelines for us on how to determine who our sons and daughters should marry, and he said that it is piety. That is the foundation and if we do not make piety the criteria, then we have corruption. That is the consequence.

Therefore, yes it is wrong to say to my daughter that I do not want you to marry someone who is not from Ethiopia. I cannot say that since we are Ethiopians, you have to marry an Ethiopian. Islamically, it is wrong. You should be open for whoever comes with piety. Your concern should be to try to find a pious husband for her, and that is the primary criteria.

We do not negate culture. Culture has its place, but our identity is Muslim. This is the basis of our identity. These ‘cultural names’ were created by the colonials. The colonials made it, as we did not have it. Go back before the colonial era, and see that it was - the Muslim empire. Wherever you came from, you are Muslim. You could live wherever you want you could move within the empire. Your passport was Islam. That is the ideal. That was how it was in the past.