Shall I make al-istikhaarah before making a decision and then wait for the sign from Allah to decide my course of action?

Jabir ibn Abdullah related: "The Prophet (ﷺ) used to teach them this prayer for seeking good in all of their affairs the way he (ﷺ) used to teach them to memorize a chapter of the Qur'an; to use in their prayers, understand it and benefit from it. So, he gave them this dua' in saying, ‘If any of you decides on a matter, he should make two units of voluntary prayer, and say this du'a:

"Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlikal adheem, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob. Allaahumma fa in kunta ta’lamu haadha’l-amra (then the matter should be mentioned by name) khayran li fi ‘aajil amri wa aajilihi (or: fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri) faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi. Allaahumma wa in kunta ta’lamu annahu sharrun li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri (or: fi ‘aajili amri wa aajilihi) fasrifni ‘anhu [wasrafhu ‘anni] waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma radini bihi." [1]

First point here: He said, "If any of you decides on a matter”, meaning, you don't make al-istikhaarah when you didn't make a decision. People mistakenly think that you make du'a al-istikhaarah when you haven't made a decision, and Allah will show you which decision to make. This is not how du'a al-istikhaarah works.

First you make a decision, meaning, you seek information about the thing which you want to do. After you have gathered all of the information, you've taken the advice (parents); and you have gotten all of the information together, then you make a decision on what it is you are going to do. At this point, as Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said,

"If any of you decides on a matter, then you make two voluntary units of prayer.” (not your obligatory prayer, but the sunnah.)

Having done that, you say the dua':

Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi ilmik wa astaqiruka bi qudratik wa as'aluka min fadlikal adheem,

(O Allah, I seek Your guidance to what is good for me, because of Your infinite knowledge. I seek Your help because of Your infinite power, and ask You from Your infinite grace.)

fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob.

(for surely You are able and I'm not, You know and I do not, and You alone know the unseen.)

So, we start off having made a decision, and we are turning the affair over to Allah, because He has the knowledge, the power and the grace in this decision that we have made.

For the future, our affair seeking Allah's guidance, to make sure we are making the right decisions, that our affairs go in the right direction. The Prophet (ﷺ) also gave us a dua' beginning in the same way, starting off with:

'Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlikal adheem,'

 (O Allah, I seek Your guidance to what is good for me, because of Your infinite knowledge. I seek Your help because of Your infinite power, and ask You from Your infinite grace.)

One point to note here is that this dua' should not be about something which is obligatory. We don't make al-istikhaarah about something which Allah has commanded, nor we make al-istikhaarah about something which Allah has forbidden, nor make al-istikhaarah about something which the Prophet (ﷺ) has recommended or for something that he disliked, Makrooh. We shouldn't be making al-istikhaarah for these things. That's clear. Al-istikhaarah is for the Mub'ah things; things which are in the middle.

This decision we are making is a perfectly permissible decision. Not one which we have already been told that is a good thing to do we should do it or it is obligatory for us to do it.

So, in this affair that we are making al-istikhaarah about, we ask Allah to guide us, because He is ultimately the guide. He knows the consequence of the acts. He knows when that decision, what is it going to lead to.  We don't.  We ask Allah to guide us because of His infinite knowledge and to help us in it. Because it is through His power, laa hawla wa laa quwwat illa billah (Nothing is going to take place without the permission of Allah), and that will be from His mercy. If it is really good for us, then, whatever good comes to us is from the mercy of Allah.

fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob.

(for surely You are able and I'm not, You know and I do not, and You alone know the unseen.)

So, we are turning our affair over to Allah in this.

I think this is clear. We have made a decision. Then, we ask Allah relative to this decision.

The Prophet (ﷺ) told us,

Allaahumma fa in kunta ta’lamu haadha’l-amra khayran li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri

(O Allah, if You know that this affair; this is where You would say the name of it, is favorable for my religion and my livelihood,)

faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi.

(Then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and bless me in it. Decree it for me; put it in my destiny. Make it easy for me to achieve it, and then bless me in it.)

These are the signs. Some people think, if we make al-istikhaarah, there should come some sign in a dream. So they say, "If you are going to do al-istikhaarah, you better do it before going to bed at night. This is nonsense. You are supposed to wait to see what is going to happen in a dream. There are even books that tell you, if you see this in a dream or see that in a dream, this means go ahead, that means don't go ahead. If you see green, it means okay. If you see red, it means that it is not okay. This is all nonsense. This is all nonsense. We can see clearly from the statement here, we are saying to Allah, "If this is good for me, then make it easy for me.  Destine it for me and make it easy for me and bless me in it.”  After having made a decision, we go ahead. If we find that the thing in our lives just falls into place; it moves along easy, you can see Allah’s blessings in it, then we know that we have made the right decision (and we go ahead with it).

That is enough. We don't need a dream to tell us. In this affair here, it is clear.  As the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "If anyone of you have made a decision, make two units of prayer and make this prayer."  What does this supplication tell us? It means also that no one else could do it for us.  Unfortunately, some people think that parents can make al-Istikhaarah for them. Or you go to the shaykh, and say to him, "Oh Shaykh, make du'a for me."  This is nonsense.  Nobody can make al-Istikhaarah, but ourselves.

As the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "If anyone of you decides on a matter, you make two units of prayer, and you make this supplication."  It is all on us. Each individual is responsible for making this prayer; seeking Allah's guidance and turning his affairs over to Allah. If this is not the case, the Prophet (ﷺ) told us to say,

In kunta ta’lamu annahu hadha'al amra sharrun li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri

(if You know that this affair is harmful for my religion, livelihood, and the aftermath of my affairs,)

Fasrifhu anni wasrifni anhu waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma raddini bih.

(turn it away from me and turn me away from it, decree for me what is better wherever it may be, and make me content with it.)

This is the other sign. We have one sign, if it is good for me, destine it for me (make it available for me); even if we may decide on something, it may not become accessible for us. When we decide on something; a sign that it is the right thing, it becomes accessible to us. Not only it is accessible for us, but it becomes easy for us, and Allah’s blessing is evident in it. If it is not good, it becomes difficult. It is taken away from us. We can't find it. We have to go running after it. If you find yourself running to chase this thing down, you're trying to go against what Allah has destined for you. It is not good. That is why He is taking it away from you. Not only He takes it away from us, but He takes it out of our hearts. So, He takes us away from it, because, if He doesn't take it out of our hearts, then we are still going to run after it; this is what we are asking that He takes it out of our hearts. Then show us where the real good is and make us pleased with it.

When He shows us the real good, it may not be what we have wanted; we are not pleased, we asked to put in our hearts pleasure with it. This is the dua' for the future (to guide us on our way). Beginning with,

Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi ilmik,

(O Allah I seek what is good for me, based on Your knowledge.)

We have to use this supplication throughout our daily lives based on the advice and the guidance of the Prophet (ﷺ), not according to our own whims and fancies or our customs, but rather according to the way the Prophet (ﷺ) has taught us.

Reference:

[1] [Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad]