Embrace Your Emotions, Control Your Actions

Fact: Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) made women sensitive and emotional by nature.   Whether we like it or not or choose to admit it, a woman can go through so many intense emotional highs and lows in one day that by the day’s end she is left feeling weary and mentally drained because every emotion we experience has a physical and psychological reaction.  

    Beware!! The simplest event may trigger an emotional biological response that will cause our mood to involuntarily and spontaneously transform!!

How do we deal with this?

Well, I’ve come up with a little acronym that just might help us in shaa Allaah; R.A.C.E

Recognize Your Emotions – Whenever we get emotional, pause and recognize that this is who we are by nature.  Beware! The simplest event may trigger an emotional biological response that will cause our mood to involuntarily and spontaneously transform!  It may be a whisper from the shayateen, hearing an idle or disrespectful comment, receiving a confusing email or dealing with someone who has a bad attitude and loves confrontation on a daily basis.   Practicing awareness of the source of these changes in emotion will allow us to respond a way that Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) loves.

 Accept Your Emotions – Simply accept and acknowledge the fact that this is the way our Creator and Master Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) designed us.  Our emotions make us beautiful, nurturing, caring and sensitive human beings.  They make us intuitive, loving wives, mothers and friends.  However, we must also accept that emotions are our test.  For instance, it’s very important to learn how to recognize, accept and deal with jealousy, especially in a polygamous marriage.  How deeply and intensely we love our husbands should pale in comparison to our love and devotion to Al Noor (The Light).

 It may help us as women to remember this hadith.  While it may be hard to accept because we love to love with deepest devotion, our beloved Prophet ( ) cautions us with good reason to love in moderation:

Allah’s Messenger (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

Love the one whom you love to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be someone for whom you have hatred, and hate the one for whom you have hatred to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be one whom you love.” –  Hadith – at-Tirmidhee (no. 1997) 

Conversely, all of our reckless and undying love should only be toward Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala),  Al Wadud (The Loving One):

 “Say (O Muhammad SAW): “Verily, my Salât (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists).”” –  Al-An’am (6):162


    We may not be able to control how we feel, but we can certainly control our actions and what rolls off our tongue; our speech.

Control Your Emotions! We may not be able to control how we feel, but we can certainly control our actions and what rolls off our tongue; our speech.  Al hamdu lillaah, we will not be held accountable for our thoughts.   Does anyone doubt the wisdom of Al Hakim (The Perfectly Wise)?

He knew what thoughts would go through our minds and what we would love to do and say to that sister with the attitude that annoys us.  However, we will be held accountable for our deeds.  This is a serious matter, especially for women, and applies not only to anger and jealousy, but gossip and back-biting as well.

Embrace Your Emotions 

This is my personal jihad.  Which of us loves being overly emotional?  Welling up with tears for no apparent reason sometimes.  Feeling hurt and neglected by those we love, even though you may have spoken to them just a day ago.  Getting so angry that the veins on our neck pop up? It’s no picnic! Personally, I’m annoyed at myself for not being able to stay angry for a long time, even though I may have every right to be.

 It took me a long time to realize that when I get upset, I express my opinion and then I go quiet. But when I get really angry I can’t even form a sentence, can’t even utter a word. Mouth traps shut. Ma shaa Allaah.

 Rather, I distance myself from the situation and wait until the anger subsides and I can think clearly again, before anything comes out of my mouth.  This is surely a mercy from Allah (), because He knows that the kind of haraam speech that would come spewing forth from my lips would make me go into a 21 day fast to make tauba for deliverance from sure hell fire! Allahu alam! 🙂

 Now, I recognize that this is part of my nature, and I have learned to embrace it and deal with it accordingly.  May Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) help us all to find ways to deal with our emotions.

 Remember as Muslimahs we need to be like an Oreo cookie.  The entire cookie is good, but the inside is soft and sweet, while the outside is a little tougher and not that easy to break.  In other words we need to develop a thicker skin so that we don’t let anything get to us inwardly to the point where it would cause us to outwardly sin.


‘O Allaah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed.  I acknowledge Your favour upon me and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me, for verily none can forgive sin except You.’ – Sayyid ul Istigfar



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8 replies on “Controlling Our Emotions As Muslimahs”

  • valrn4u@yahoo.com'
    Amina Baha
    June 4, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    Allahu Akbar! Shukran sister for this wonderful informative blog! You’ve described me perfectly! I am that Muslimah that allows her emotions to overwhelm her and that is NOT GOOD! Insha’Allah I will continue to strive for spiritual and mental rest from the whispers of the Shaytan–for surely he is the author of lies! Subhan’Allahi Wa Bihamdihi……..

  • aisha_ken@hotmail.com'
    June 5, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    A great response to an important issue. Jazakumullahukhairan sister

  • ummuyahya03@gmail.com'
    Aishatu Yahya Iga
    June 6, 2014 at 9:05 am

    jazakillahu khairan,,, may Allah help us 2 controll our emotions in the right way,, Ameen!

  • ymsylla@gmail.com'
    Yvette Sylla
    June 8, 2014 at 4:12 am

    Masha’Allah, sister, that was Phenomenal! May Allah continue to give you wisdom and use you creative writing skills to encourage,strengthen,and empower the Muslims Women. Aameen

  • izo420@hotmail.com'
    Qurat-ul-ain Imran
    June 8, 2014 at 9:51 am

    Its a very gud article sis…and Im also going through this emotional attitude…

  • khadijahdavies@gmail.com'
    June 8, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    Jazaakillaahu khaira. I am a victim of my emotions and cause other people to be also. This is my fault.

  • ayesha.dreamer@yahoo.com'
    June 25, 2014 at 6:09 am

    I can relate sister while angry i also shut up until the anger subsides! Sometimes i do realize that this is a huge blessing of Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala . May He help us All. 🙂

  • bhatmudasir388@gmail.com'
    Mudasir Bashir
    December 27, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    Alhamdulilah Dr. Bilal , You & The other brothers &Sister’s associated with this Dawa field are doing a tremendous Job May Allah bless u &give u the more opurtunity to bring the detached Muslims on the right track & To make the real Islam known to the world