Giving positive affirmation to oneself and to children (to elevate their self esteem, self worth and make them happy) are some of psychological techniques to boost one's confidence, and develop good thinking about oneself (especially applied to those with low self esteem problems). Keeping this in mind, can you kindly explain the following?
1. Is praising children as 'you are beautiful', 'you are smart', 'you are a great person' considered as fa'l (putting good words as taught by Prophet (ﷺ)) ?
2. Is there anything such as 'white/sunnah lie'? Is positive affirmation and fa'l considered as 'white lie/sunnah lie'?
3. Western psychology claims that it is not good to praise children out of nowhere, i.e. only praise children when you see effort from them. They also forbid praising innate ability (e.g. intelligence and beauty).
What is Islam’s position on this?
- Yes it could fall under this category of Fa'l: saying a good word.
- It depends on what you consider a white lie is as the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"He is not a liar who reconciles between people and conveys something good or says something good."[1]
"Lying is not permitted except in three cases: a man’s speaking to his wife to make her happy; lying at times of war; and lying in order to reconcile between people."[2]
- Terms of endearment is allowed in Islam and is not necessarily considered Fa'l.
References:
[1] [Reported by al-Bukhari, 2495]
[2] [Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1862; he said: it is a hasan hadeeth. See also Saheeh Muslim, 4717]
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