What is the meaning of "good treatment" in the hadeeth “The best of people are those who’re best to their women”?

Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) made the treatment of men towards their wives the determining factor as to how good they are. The “good treatment” that defines who among the men is the best in this regard is according to what Allah (سبحانهُ وتعالى) has defined as good treatment. This is important to keep in mind because every society may have its own set of values that determine what it considers to be a good treatment. So, when the Prophet (ﷺ) spoke about being best to one’s women, which includes one’s wife/wives and other females who’re his responsibility, he spoke about it from the perspective of what Allah has prescribed. This good treatment includes many aspects such as:

Spiritual: The man who’s the head of the family has the responsibility of providing spiritual guidance to his wife. Being able to access knowledge in the Masjid should help him fulfill the role of being a spiritual guide. This is a highly important responsibility, especially in our times  since it is greatly neglected. For the most part, men are busy working and don’t have time. They leave it to the wife to seek knowledge on her own. In reality, men are supposed to be in the forefront, helping their women in seeking knowledge of the Deen and understanding it.

Education: The second important role that the man has to fulfill with regards to being the best towards his women is to provide education. The husband should not only be educated in the Deen, but also educate his wife, or he should facilitate for her religious education since she’s the nurturer of the children and will spend the maximum time with them. So, if one wants to raise righteous children who fear Allah and know who Allah is, then one has to make sure that his wife is properly educated in the Deen.

Kindness and equity: The third aspect of good treatment towards one’s women is kindness. We see this in the example of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as Allah said,

“…And you should live with them with kindness and equity…” [1]

He (ﷺ) used to sew his clothes, mend the patch and lend a helping hand in the household chores. The husband should not consider it the decline of his dignity to help his wife with the household tasks. That wasn’t the way of the Prophet (ﷺ). He would help his wives whenever he could. This is important for building good relationships with the family.

Finance: Another aspect of fair treatment is with regards to finance and the way the husband handles it. The wife should be aware of the amount that the husband earns and where he keeps it. The husband should allow her to use his money but at the same time he should keep an account of the expenditure.

Gentleness: Another important aspect of good treatment towards one’s wife is gentleness. It is necessary for men to behave gently while dealing with their women, as the Prophet () had said:

“Gentleness and kindness, whenever it is in anything, it beautifies it. And whenever it is taken from anything, it makes it ugly”.[2]

The husband should be sensitive to his wife’s nature. If he is not sensitive to it and behaves roughly when dealing with her, this would lead to marital problems and the end result could be divorce.

References:

[1] [Qur’an 4:19]

[2] [Muslim, 4698]