How to develop a strong solid bond with my children?

It is the right of the children to be loved. This begins with breast feeding the child. The mother keeps the child close to her and maintains a physical contact. Allah prescribes 2 years for breastfeeding. The Western world strayed away from it but now has returned to the same claiming the importance of breastfeeding a child. It is the right of the child as long as she is capable. That provides a warm beginning for the child. The child is in direct contact with the mother which is important for the psychological development of the child. Scientifically it is proven that the first 5 years are the most crucial in forming the future personality of the child. Most of the problems of teenagers come from the early period of childhood. So children need love from the early years of childhood to have stable lives ahead. 'Amr ibn Shu'ayb reported from his grandfather that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,

"Anyone who does not show mercy to our children nor acknowledge the right of our old people is not one of us."[1]

This was his way. In those days some considered kissing and cuddling children was not for the men. It was narrated that Aa'ishah (رضى الله عنها), said:

"Some Bedouin people came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: 'Do you kiss your children?' He said: 'Yes'. He said: 'But we, by Allah, never kiss (our children)'. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: 'What can I do if Allah has taken away mercy from you?' "[2]  

The guiding of the children should be done in as loving way as possible. Quality time and personal attention should be given to them. We should develop lines of communication with them, not just brief passing time, but real time, for them to know you and for you to know them. When dealing with children one should know what to focus on. One should avoid being harsh. Kindness should be adopted rather than harshness. It is important to bond with the children, to develop a strong solid bond with the child.

References:

[1] [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 363]

[2] [Sunan Ibn Majah 3665, Sahih]