What is the difference between giving Naseeha and being judgmental because often people quote the latter when they are given any advice?
Sometimes people just say "Don't judge me" when they don't want to be corrected, but sometimes we correct people in a way which comes across as judgmental.
When correcting others, four qualities are necessary:
- Love
- Mercy/Empathy
- Wisdom
- Gentleness
Allah says in the Qur'an:
ٱدۡعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِٱلۡحِكۡمَةِ وَٱلۡمَوۡعِظَةِ ٱلۡحَسَنَةِۖ وَجَـٰدِلۡهُم بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحۡسَنُۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعۡلَمُ بِمَن ضَلَّ عَن سَبِيلِهِۦۖ وَهُوَ أَعۡلَمُ بِٱلۡمُهۡتَدِينَ
“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.” (Surah An-Nahl 16:125)
If you correct someone with all four of the above qualities, and they still say this, then it is probably just an excuse to brush off your correction, you have done your job of conveying the message.
May Allah guide us all and forgive our shortcomings.
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